Facing your triggers in ayahuasca ceremony

Ayahuasca is a brew made from the Banisteriopsis caapi vine and Psychotria viridis leaves. Indigenous peoples of the Amazon have used it for centuries for healing and spiritual purposes, and in recent years ayahuasca ceremonies have drawn people from all walks of life. Almost everyone who sits in ceremony meets their triggers there: old fears, hurts and reactions that come up hard and fast. We think those moments are where the real work is, and that running from them costs more than facing them.

What a trigger is

A trigger is a strong reaction to a situation, a person or an event that reminds us of an old hurt or something unresolved. It can show up as anxiety, fear, anger or sadness. In ceremony these reactions can be intense and uncomfortable, but they point straight at the places in us that still need attention.

Why we don’t look away

When a trigger comes up in ceremony, it’s tempting to push it down. Facing your own pain is hard. But avoiding a trigger only gives the unresolved thing more power over your life. When you own it, you shine a light on what you’ve been hiding from, and that’s where change starts.

Avoidance also turns into projection. Instead of looking at the feeling in ourselves, we put it on other people, and our relationships pay for it. Avoiding brings relief for a while and keeps the cycle of fear and anxiety going.

An ordeal medicine

Ayahuasca is often called an “ordeal medicine.” It isn’t a quick fix and it isn’t comfortable. It can bring your deepest fears and insecurities up as vivid, symbolic visions or as raw emotion. We believe that confrontation is the point. Taking responsibility for your triggers, instead of blaming the person next to you or bad energy in the room, is how you work through them.

After the ceremony

Integration means taking what you saw in ceremony and living it. Triggers often keep surfacing in the days and weeks after, and that’s normal. Some things that help:

1. Mindfulness and self-compassion. Notice what you feel without judging it. It’s okay to feel triggered. Be as patient with yourself as you would be with a friend.
2. Journaling. Writing down what set you off, and what you felt, helps you see where it comes from.
3. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT is a well-researched approach that helps you spot and change unhelpful patterns of thought and behavior. A therapist trained in it can help you find new ways of meeting your triggers.
4. Exposure therapy. Gradually facing what triggers you can make the reaction less intense over time. It’s often used alongside CBT and should be guided by a qualified therapist.
5. Support groups and therapy. A group or a therapist gives you a place to look at your triggers without being judged, and sharing with people who have faced similar things can be validating.

If what comes up gets worse or won’t lift, see a doctor or therapist.

You don’t have to do it alone

Ayahuasca ceremonies usually happen in a group, and it helps to know the people around you are facing their own stuff too. After ceremony, talking with others who have sat with ayahuasca, going to integration groups, or sharing in a circle can keep you going. At Two Birds Church our Sunday Service has a sharing circle every week, where nobody gives advice or tries to fix you.

Take care of yourself

Facing triggers is real work, so balance it. Know your limits, take breaks, and do the things that refill you: time in nature, something creative, meditation or yoga, eating well and moving your body.

It doesn’t happen once

Healing isn’t a straight line. What you see in ceremony is a beginning. The same trigger will probably come back, even after you thought you’d dealt with it. When it does, it’s a chance to check in with yourself and use what you’ve learned.

Each time you face a hard truth about yourself and let yourself be seen in it, the trigger has a little less hold on you. Over time, meeting hard things openly gets easier. That’s what we mean by learning to live unbound by fear.

Ayahuasca ceremonies at Two Birds Church in Anna, Texas →