Coming Alive: When You Stop Playing Small

A journey into authentic expression and the courage to be fully yourself

There’s a question I’ve been sitting with lately, one that seems to follow me through quiet morning moments and late-night reflections: What if the most radical thing we could do is simply stop hiding?

Not hiding from danger or real threats, but hiding from our own aliveness. Hiding from the parts of ourselves that want to create, to express, to take up space in this world without apology. I’m talking about that specific kind of hiding we do when we dim our enthusiasm, ration our joy, and keep our authentic selves locked away in some internal safe house.

Last Sunday, during our community gathering, we explored this together—this practice of coming alive. What emerged wasn’t just a meditation, but a recognition of how many of us have been living in the shadows of our own potential, waiting for permission that no one else can give us.

The Weight of Playing Small

Let me start here, with you, right now.

Take a moment and notice: Where are you as you read this? Feel your body in this space. Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly if that feels comfortable. Notice your breath—not to change it, just to acknowledge it.

Pause here. Really do this. I’ll wait.

Now, with that same gentle attention, ask yourself: What part of my authentic self have I been keeping small?

The question might sting a little. It does for most of us. Because if we’re honest—really honest—we all have parts of ourselves we’ve learned to keep on a tight leash. The enthusiastic part. The creative part. The part that wants to try new things, speak up, take risks, be seen.

We’ve learned to do this for what feel like good reasons. Maybe our excitement was too much for the adults around us when we were young. Maybe we tried to shine once and got burned. Maybe we absorbed the message that being “too much” is dangerous, that wanting things is selfish, that expressing ourselves fully might threaten the people we love.

But here’s what I’ve been learning, both in my own healing and in witnessing others: The very parts of ourselves we’ve been taught to hide are often the parts that are most alive, most authentic, most desperately needed in this world.

The Sacred Practice of Recognition

In our tradition, we talk about plant medicine as a teacher—not because it gives us mystical insights we couldn’t access otherwise, but because it creates the conditions for us to see clearly what’s already there. Ayahuasca doesn’t plant foreign wisdom in us; she reveals the wisdom we’ve been carrying all along.

This practice of coming alive works the same way. We’re not trying to become someone new. We’re recognizing who we already are beneath the layers of protection, performance, and people-pleasing.

So let’s practice this recognition together.

Right now, I want you to ask your body a question: “What in me wants to come alive?”

Don’t think your way to an answer. Feel your way to it. Maybe there’s a flutter in your chest when you think about that creative project you’ve been putting off. Maybe your hands tingle when you imagine finally having that important conversation. Maybe your whole body lights up when you think about expressing yourself more fully in some area of your life.

Take a moment here. Let yourself actually feel into this question.

Notice and celebrate whatever sensations arise. These physical responses aren’t random—they’re your body’s wisdom pointing you toward what’s true.

The Voices That Keep Us Small

As soon as you start to feel into what wants to emerge, notice if other voices start talking. They might sound practical: “That’s not realistic.” “I don’t have time for that.” “I need to focus on more important things.”

Or they might sound spiritual: “I’m still healing, so I should wait.” “I need to work on myself more first.” “My ego is just trying to get attention.”

These voices aren’t necessarily wrong, but they’re also not necessarily right. Often, they’re just the familiar ways our psyche has learned to keep us safe by keeping us small.

Here’s the thing about spiritual bypassing—using spiritual concepts to avoid the messiness of actually living. Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is let ourselves be fully, authentically alive. Sometimes the deepest healing happens not in waiting until we’re “ready,” but in practicing readiness by showing up as we are.

Try this: Place both hands on your heart center. Feel yourself giving permission to be big, to be bright, to be exactly as excited as you actually are.

Say these words, either out loud or silently, and notice what happens in your body:

“I give myself permission to shine.”

“My joy is welcome here.”

“I am ready to stop playing small.”

Feel the real feelings that come with speaking honestly about yourself. Feel how your body might relax when you stop performing and start being genuine.

The Practice of Expanding

What would it actually look like to express the part of yourself that wants to come alive?

I’m not talking about dramatic life overhauls or reckless decisions. I’m talking about the small, daily practices of authenticity. The practice of letting your voice carry your real thoughts. The practice of sharing your enthusiasm without immediately downplaying it. The practice of taking up the space you actually occupy instead of trying to shrink yourself to fit other people’s comfort levels.

Here’s a concrete exercise: Think about one specific way you could express more of your authentic self this week. Maybe it’s sharing an idea you’ve been keeping to yourself. Maybe it’s wearing something that makes you feel more like yourself. Maybe it’s spending time on something that genuinely excites you instead of something you think you “should” be doing.

Now, instead of just thinking about it, feel into it. What would it feel like in your body to actually do this thing? Maybe your chest opens up. Maybe your shoulders relax. Maybe you feel lighter, more energized, more present.

Let yourself dream into it for a moment. What would your day look like if you let this part of yourself have more space? How would you move through the world? What would change in how you speak, how you laugh, how you show up?

Really pause here and let yourself feel into this possibility.

The Community of Aliveness

One of the most beautiful things about gathering in community—whether it’s our Sunday services or simply reading this blog alongside others who are on similar journeys—is realizing we’re not alone in this struggle to be authentic.

Your decision to stop playing small doesn’t just serve you. It gives other people permission to do the same. Your willingness to be genuinely excited about something creates space for others to access their own enthusiasm. Your courage to express yourself authentically makes authenticity more possible for everyone around you.

This isn’t just feel-good philosophy. It’s practical psychology. We learn how to be human by watching each other be human. When we model genuine expression, we teach it. When we practice owning our joy without apology, we make that skill available to our families, our communities, our world.

The Ceremony of Daily Aliveness

In our church, we often talk about the sacred nature of ceremony. But ceremony isn’t just what happens when we gather with plant medicine or in formal spiritual settings. The ceremony is also your creative life, your relationships, the daily practice of being authentically, unapologetically alive.

Every time you choose to express something real instead of something safe, you’re engaged in ceremony. Every time you let yourself be excited about something without immediately minimizing it, you’re practicing the sacred. Every time you take up space as your actual self instead of a performed version of yourself, you’re participating in the healing of the world.

Before we close, let’s make a commitment together—not to perfection, not to dramatic transformation, but to bringing awareness to the lies we tell ourselves about why we need to stay small. A commitment to at least allowing the possibility of beauty, of blooming into a life of joy.

Place both hands on your heart one more time. Feel all that aliveness, all that possibility, all that joy that you’ve been touching as you’ve read this. Feel yourself supported by this community, by everyone who has also chosen the path of authentic expression, the path of creative courage, the path of unapologetic aliveness.

Carrying This Forward

As you finish reading, take one more conscious breath. Feel how you can carry this energy with you—this permission to be excited, to be creative, to be fully, brightly yourself.

The practice isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about having the courage to be who you already are. It’s about recognizing that your authentic self—your joy, your enthusiasm, your unique way of seeing and being in the world—isn’t too much. It’s exactly what’s needed.

When you’re ready, wiggle your fingers and toes if you need to, stretch if that feels good, and return fully to your day while keeping all of this aliveness burning bright inside you.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it: Choose one small way to express more of your authentic self this week. Not as a grand gesture, but as a gentle practice. Notice what it feels like in your body when you stop hiding and start living.

May you go forward with the courage to be authentic. May you practice honest expression in your daily life. May you know that being genuine is a skill that serves everyone.

And may you remember: You are not too much. Your enthusiasm is not too much. Your dreams are not too much.

You are exactly the right amount of you.

What wants to come alive through you? Share your reflections in the comments below, or simply carry them with you as a secret light as you move through your day.